‘Twas the morning of Bach time
Across the U.S.
Where millions asked: “Hmmmm…
Should I watch again?! YES!”
We so hate to love you,
You ABC drama.
You squander our time
And you cause our hearts trauma!!!
But back, here we are
Ever faithful to you
And Chris Harrison and
The production team, too.
“Why do I watch???”
I repeatedly pout.
The traveling? The roses?
The gross making out?
So now do I ponder
And try to dig deep
Wondering why this dumb show
Makes me smile and weep.
I conclude it’s because
I think true love might dawn
Thanks to Trista and Ryan
And Catherine and Sean.
The fun’s often wrecked by
Reality Steve
But still it could happen!
I HAVE TO BELIEVE!!!!!!
Then we have fan faves
We wish could’ve stayed
Like Bentley (just kidding!)
And cool mom Renee.
Adorable Tenley
Who’s now dating Kiptyn
And class act Chris Lambert
Who married cute Payton.
Wes, of course,
Who said: “Love, it don’t come easy!”
And dozens of others
Some great and some sleazy.
Juan Pablo, The Worst
Is quite a good reason
To finally quit
And stop watching this season.
He said, “Eeeesss Okayyy,”
But really, it wasn’t.
For now we all hate him;
I mean, right?! Who doesn’t?!
And so, here I sit
At this crossroads again.
Do I finally quit before
Bachelorette 10?!
Alas, I cannot.
I’m a passionate fan.
You can pry my remote
From my cold, dead hand.
I’ll watch once again
And make Husband watch, too,
‘Cuz I love a good fairy tale.
Heck, we all do!!!
The dates and the dares and
The islands and dresses…
A break from the diapers
And cleaning up messes.
So now, here we go!
Let’s follow the journey
Of Andi, young ombré-haired
District attorney.
We wish you the best!
You are smart and you’re sassy.
Just avoid hot tubs
And try to stay classy.
And this summer we
Will meet Bach Paradise!
An intriguing new premise
From genius Mike Fleiss.
(But Bachelor Pad,
You can remain off the air;
Whenever I watch you,
You give me a scare.)
Yes, CHEERS to the Bachelor!
I guess that you win.
My Monday nights
Won’t be mine ever again.
Hahaha this would make Mr Z so proud!!!! I’m dying and I don’t even watch the bachelor
Hahaha, I am SO glad you like it, GF! Maybe I should send it to him… “THANKS TO JULIUS CAESAR + SQUARES… LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!!!!!” Haha! XO!
Hi Steph! Your blog is adorable! And this post is to die for! I totally caved last night and my Monday nights are now bachelorette nights, I’m hooked:) hope all is well with you!
Hehehe, YIPPEE, Chels!!! I am so happy you like my blog and the post… And SO happy you have joined the addiction!!! 😉 It looks like a great season; I adore Andi! Hope all is fab with you, too! We should do a summer-is-here boot camp or something soon, haha! XOXOXO!
Lmao!!! Haha “eeeessss not okay” lol made my night seriously loling my fiance thinks im nuts!! You sure are talented wow such a gift you have!!! Go GIRL im a fan of your blog!!!
Awwww, hehehe, nope, NOT okay!!! 😉 I am SO, SO happy you loved the poem and that you enjoy reading my blog!!! 🙂 It means sooo much to me! And fiancé?! Congratulations!! Hope all is fab, girlfriend! 🙂
Hey Steph! Love your blog. You are such a talented writer! I know Andi personally! She was in my husband’s law school class. We are not close friends but she really is very sweet. We are definitely watching her this season.
Awww, it’s so wonderful to hear from you, Alizabeth! 🙂 Thank you so much!!! And aaaaah, that is so cool to hear! Andi seems like such a fun and genuine girl! We are hoping for her happy ending! I hope all is wonderful with you! Your little man is just the cuuutest!